Wednesday 28 May 2008

Grab your Manolos and a cosmo refill...

Okay, so maybe it's insanely clichéd, but I'm really, really, really looking forward to the Sex and the City movie, which opens this week! In the build-up, I've been watching my SATC boxsets and at the moment, I'm finishing up Season 6 to coincide with the movie release. It opens on Thursday but I'll catch it over the weekend, preferably in the morning. ('Not keen on queuing up with lots of girlies who are watching the movie only because they think it'll make them fabulous.)

I've also just ordered the SATC OST! 'Checked it out on iTunes, and let me tell you, it sounds pretty damn good. So that should be arriving in the next week or so. Now I just need to figure out how to sneak lovely chilled cosmos into the movie theatre... Hmmm...





Tuesday 27 May 2008

Sweet kitteh vs bad neighbour - Round 1

Fumes. I'm surrounded by them - and I gotsta tell you - they're intoxicating. Sadly, they're not the good kind of fumes. They're stinky nail polish fumes. Thing is, the powers that be in the company I work for have taken pity on us minions, and have treated us to a 'wellness week'.

Yesterday, the guys from Discovery Health came in, pin-pricked our fingers, took our measurements and read us our fortune. The good news is my cholesterol is A-OK (must be all that red wine!) though my blood pressure is little low. The worst part though was the BMI crap stuff - there's no feeling of 'wellness' in having complete strangers weigh and measure you. Whatever. Anyway, back to those fumes. Today being day two, they set up a mini spa in one of the boardrooms and I had a mini-manicure. How fab for me! I went with dark red talons and I think they look pretty damn hot, though as I said, they reek. So much so, it has prevented me from working. Instead I've been surfing the web and checking out some blogs. (I'm a little concerned that my blog is dead-boring and considering I've been waffling on about my painted nails, I rest my case. So I'll keep this brief.)

I had a nice weekend. Wound down on the Sunday by going to a chick-flick (Made of Honor). I came out feeling quite chipper until I switched on my mobile and found a message from my neighbour. Him and his girlfriend moved in quite recently and I haven't really had a chance to suss them out, due in large to their lack of 'passing neighbour friendliness'. Imagine my horror when I listened to his voice mail which detailed how my cat had apparently 'broken' into their home and viciously attacked their 'animals'!!! WTF?!?!?

(To put you in the picture, my cat (Phoebe) is a lovely pussycat who is terrified of each fellow member of her feline species, as well as pizza delivery boys. She's sweet and lovely, and unless you're a gecko, completely harmless. )

I immediately phoned the Tosser back to find out more. According to his sob story, Phoebe is in their place very often (doubtful), especially in the middle of the night (blatant lie) and has viciously attacked said Tosser's three-month old kittens (oh puhleeeeeeze!) I asked him if he had witnessed this so-called attack and no, he hadn't but he
suspects it was Phoebe. What a jerk! The 'hood is riddled with bad-ass tom cats who are 'itchin' for a beatin' but as none of them wear tags and collars, there's no proof.

He told me I need to sort out my cat. Okay Dumb-ass, I'll give her a stern talking to and read her the riot act. Whatever. I told him to keep his windows closed so his kittens don't become cat food. And we kinda left it at that. What a jerk.

Not that I need to prove my apparently-bad kitty's innocence or anything but here are a couple of pics I have of her...

I ask you, does this look to you like an evil cat?

I mean, c'mon...


But hey, if it's war he wants, it's war he'll get. Bring it.

Okay, typing not good for newly gorgeous nails. Must go home now....


Thursday 22 May 2008

Mwah ha ha...

(great word...)

schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\, noun:

A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.


Thursday 15 May 2008

RIP little buddies

It is with great sadness that I must announce the sudden and tragic passing of my Lionhead goldfish - Sybil, Fred and Shorty.

Sybil and Fred lived happy lives and spent many hours circling the tank and re-acquainting themselves with each other. Sybil's favourite past-time was floating upside down and playing dead. She played this game for the last time a month ago when she went belly-up and never awoke.

Fred was understandably sad at the passing of his tank mate, but being the great little fishy he was, bravely soldiered on. When Shorty joined him in the tank, he warmly welcomed the new arrival. Sadly, Shorty lived up to his name and was with us for a tragically short time. After a mere two and a half weeks, he gave up the will to live. Shorty passed away peacefully on Tuesday morning. He will be missed.

Poor grief-stricken Fred was clearly traumatised by the sudden passing of the only friends he ever knew and, after his little heart broke, he too passed. A moving flushing ceremony took place last night (Wednesday).

It is my sincere hope that Sybil, Fred and Shorty have found eternal peace in the Big Pond in the Sky, where there are no dodgy cats watching them and fishy food flakes are in abundance. Each little fish was special in their individual way and will be sorely missed. Swim free, little buddies. Swim free.


Monday 12 May 2008

The Owl and the Pussycat

Great poem:

The Owl and the Pussycat by Edward Lear

The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are,
What a beautiful Pussy you are."
Pussy said to the Owl "You elegant fowl,
How charmingly sweet you sing.
O let us be married, too long we have tarried;
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows,
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, his nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?"
Said the Piggy, "I will"
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand.
They danced by the light of the moon, the moon, the moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.


Monday 5 May 2008

More nice, less nasty

It's not surprising that everyone's feeling a little down about everything from political doom & gloom, an ever-increasing petrol price (up another 55c this morning) and the scary inflation that's part of the vicious circle. I've certainly been doing my fair share of moaning) though I don't think that's a bad thing. On the contrary, I think it's important that people talk about issues and tackle them head-on instead of the government style head-in-the-sand routine). Nonetheless, I think it's time for an arb post with more of the positive and less of the nasty. So here goes...

The other week, I joined some of my closest friends for a seriously fabulous evening at Madame Zingara - and what a party! I'd heard from others who had been before that it was a good evening out but it completely exceeded all of my expectations. (In case you've never heard of Madame Zingara before, here's a little background info... A few years ago, Cape Town was home to two sister restaurants - Madame Zingara and Cara Lazuli. Both were gorgeously decadent venues - hugely popular, until Madame Zingara was pretty much razed to the ground in a fire (very dramatic!). It really was very sad. Anyway, to cut a long story short, the Madame Zingara guys found themselves in Belgium where they bought a big circus tent and hired a bunch of talented perfomers. They then brought them back to South Africa where they set up the tent (the Theatre of Dreams) and started sell-out shows where they feed and entertain 400 people a night. Very cool.

The second you enter the marquee, you're transported into a Moulin-Rouge-esque world of costumes and gaiety (for lack of a better word). The atmosphere is insanely jovial and all the people who work there are in fancy dress. Not to be left out, there's a little shop where you can stock up on wigs, masks, boas and whatever else takes your fancy - and all at a very reasonable price. (I went with a tiara which was a lot more subtle than the cow hat and 70s afro wig my friends bought. Anyway...) The food is amazing!!! (I had the chocolate chilli steak - incredible!) And the show is awesome (think Cirque de Soleil, though on a smaller scale). The music ranges from dramatic to beautiful to seductive and is the perfect accompaniment to the mind and body-bending feats performed by the artists. Though to be fair, even as I write this, I know I'm not doing it nearly enough justice. Please, do yourself a favour and go see for yourself! One of the bonuses of performing in a tent is that it makes the show mobile. I went to Madame Zingara's when it was in Cape Town, but it has since moved to Durban. Ticket's aren't cheap - they range from R300 to R350 but trust me, it's well worth it! Book early though. Tickets are scarce. Like chicken teeth.

We took a ridiculous amount of photos that night, but considering our attire and state, I'll spare my buddies (and I) the indignity of public humiliation and instead, show you what the tent looks like from the inside. Now close your eyes and picture it with people.

Hmmmm... let's see - what other good stuff is happening? Well, I'm off to the James Blunt concert soon (at the end of May) - looking forward to that. And of course, the girls are back with a vengeance in the Sex and the City movie - out May 30th! Can't wait. I've missed them! More good news is that Marian Keyes' latest novel has been released. (Overseas, that is.) It's available from online shops but I'm hoping they'll publish it locally because it's horribly expensive at the moment. Keyes is one of my all-time favourite authors and I can't wait to read her latest offering!

Other cool stuff... I was checking out the SA blogging forum I'm on and one of the other bloggers had a post about Aardman's 'Animals Save the Planet' shorts. (Aardman - ring a bell? Wallace and Gromit, Angry Kid, Creature Comforts, Morph [back in the day!!!] to name but a few.) Anyway, they've put together a few shorts with handy 'save the planet' tips. Educational and entertaining to boot! Check it out. (Thanks to Darrin at http://www.dazland.com/. That's where I spotted it.)


Other positive stuff? I woke up to the sounds of Abba this morning. Before you start dry heaving, I'll have you know I think Abba is great, so BRING IT! It was especially surprising to hear Abba as my alarm radio is tuned to a talk radio station - but they're doing this 'feel-good-morning-song' thing and today Dancing Queen cracked the nod. 'Made this Sleeping Queen's morning a little less ugly.

And now for the parting gift: hidden in between all the nasty and depressing stories on News 24 today, I came across this one. Am I the only one who thinks it's hilarious? Watch out boys and girls of London-town - don't let your ass fall victim to the mysterious butt-grabber. Word to the wise. Out.


Saturday 3 May 2008

The Barbie Chronicles

So I was at Madame Zingara the other week, and came away with a red wine lipstick, good memories and a whack-load of photos of my friends and I. (And there's no way in hell I'm posting those. Uh-uh.)

Anyway, our 'table centre-piece' featured kitsch plastic flowers and, I'm sorry to say, a near-naked Barbie-wannabee. Here's some of what our risqué table host got up to.

Introducing
The Barbie Chronicles*


Nudist Camp Barbie
frolics with nature

Camp Barbie
likes to ‘gay it up’

Ice-cream Barbie
can be a little frigid

Daredevil Barbie
likes living on the edge

Hairdresser Barbie
knows how to work a ‘fro


Exhibitionist Barbie
likes to show off.
(tart)


* It seems she’s a bit of a slapper



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